- How active have you been in your search for a perfect partner? How did that work — or not work — for you?
- How good are you at letting people come to you? Can you relax and let things unfold when you're dating someone?
- What are your standards for your perfect partner? Are they the same or different than your standards for yourself?
- How similar have you been to past (or your present) partner(s)? How have you been different?
- What patterns do you see in your past relationships? What do you see as your biggest obstacles in meeting your perfect partner?
There are many things I love about non-monogamy, but what I love the most are the little things that you do to let your partner(s) know that you’re thinking of them, be it while you’re away at another partner's house, or on a date with someone else. This is something I’ve realized is crucial for myself and for those I’m dating. I was thinking about this while I made the bed for my partner when I was going to be sleeping at my other partner's house. It was important to me that while I was away, he was still feeling my love. Usually chores like making my bed, or doing the dishes, drive me insane, but that day, I was happily walking through the house picking up clothes, folding laundry, and making sure the kitchen was clean. It felt like every action I was doing was filled with love, and that was important to me. It's become a part of my routine, making sure that my partners are receiving and feeling tokens of my love, even if we are apart.Read More
One of the downfalls, I think, is how few cultural representations we had to measure our relationship against, no bar with which to size up our own emotional truths and figure out what was left wanting. All around me, and inside our little cocoon, was suffering. Every queer or LGBTQ+ identified person I knew was pursued by the shadow of mental illness, a harsh result of the culture than denies our existence in one breath and villainizes it in the next. And we were not excluded, our soft holding cocoon became an echo chamber, our issues and unhappinesses playing out over each other, a battle for breath in a finite space. My love for them began to wane and lose its voice under the onslaught. (Lesbian Bed Death seems funny until you experience it yourself. It starts to unravel at the thread of the bedsheets. Why doesn’t she want me? Doesn’t she love me enough to try?)Read More