Ask a Pleasure Professional // Can Being Submissive Be Feminist?

Ask a Pleasure Professional // Can Being Submissive Be Feminist?

We have a juicy question this month from a Catalyst reader:

“I'm in a hetero relationship, and I love playing the submissive — handcuffs, blindfolds, the works — and while I really enjoy it in the moment, it always leaves me feeling questionable about the feminism of hetero bondage play. I seriously need help resolving these things in my head!”

Definitely a complicated thing to work through! Thank you for asking, and remember to submit your (anonymous!) burning questions by Friday, August 18, for the chance to get them answered next month.

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Showing Love in the Little Things When Practicing Non-Monogamy

Showing Love in the Little Things When Practicing Non-Monogamy

There are many things I love about non-monogamy, but what I love the most are the little things that you do to let your partner(s) know that you’re thinking of them, be it while you’re away at another partner's house, or on a date with someone else. This is something I’ve realized is crucial for myself and for those I’m dating. I was thinking about this while I made the bed for my partner when I was going to be sleeping at my other partner's house. It was important to me that while I was away, he was still feeling my love. Usually chores like making my bed, or doing the dishes, drive me insane, but that day, I was happily walking through the house picking up clothes, folding laundry, and making sure the kitchen was clean. It felt like every action I was doing was filled with love, and that was important to me. It's become a part of my routine, making sure that my partners are receiving and feeling tokens of my love, even if we are apart.

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Ask A Pleasure Professional // How to Talk With Your Partner About Getting Out of the Comfort Zone

Ask A Pleasure Professional // How to Talk With Your Partner About Getting Out of the Comfort Zone

Here’s this month’s featured question from a Catalyst reader:

"How do I get my sexually 'nice' (polite/respectful/feminist) partner to try new things outside of their comfort zone?"

Mmm, great question! Thanks for asking, and the rest of you can submit your (anonymous!) burning questions by Friday, July 7 to get them answered next month.

Let’s hear what the Pleasure Professionals think about getting outside of the comfort zone.

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Ask A Pleasure Professional by O.School

Ask A Pleasure Professional by O.School

Send over your anonymous questions about sex and pleasure, and every month, a Pleasure Professional will respond to your questions via video.

Maybe you have questions about….a decreasing sex drive after the wedding, and what you can do to keep your sex life exciting. Or how to keep the passion alive in a long-distance relationship. Maybe you want to know about sex toys beyond vibrators. Or gaining weight and struggling to get aroused. How about masturbation—like, how do you do it?

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On Sex // The Myth of Lesbian Bed Death

On Sex // The Myth of Lesbian Bed Death

The problem is this—there is not much out there in the way of information on LGBTQ+ relationships, especially when it comes to sex. There is no lesbian version of Cosmo on newsstands with headlines like “What Are Her Deepest Desires: 5 Things That Will Drive Her Wild!” (That is, like, an eerily accurate headline considering I made it up on the spot…) But that doesn’t mean that queer relationships don’t need some guidance, too. Let’s take lesbian bed death for instance. Is it real? Who even knows! Actually, that’s a lie. I do know, and I will be covering that very topic soon! But the point is, we have a bunch of stereotypes to base our relationships off of! Gay men are sluts and never make it to the second date, lesbians U-Haul and stop having sex in long-term relationships. WTF? That’s not helpful.

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Sex is No Longer Reserved for Marriage, and Neither is Sexual Empowerment

Sex is No Longer Reserved for Marriage, and Neither is Sexual Empowerment

Traditionally, marriage has institutionalized sex for women. Women have been expected to reserve sexual activity for marriage and then engage in sex exclusively with one’s spouse. While this relationship between marriage and sex may remain the underlying cultural ideal, it is no longer a practiced reality for the majority.

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