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What Exactly Is a Pre-Moon?
It’s a vacation or staycation you take before your wedding. It sounds insane to add a vacation to your list of things to do before a wedding, but it’s absolutely necessary. Let us explain why:
1. Time to Clear Your Head & Prioritize
The purpose of a wedding is to get married and celebrate with your loved ones, not induce a nervous breakdown. But as soon as you announce your engagement, guess who starts providing a seemingly endless ocean of opinions? E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E! With opinions on things like eloping, not getting married, prenups, using this or that vendor, having a too extravagant event, or having a DIY one, everyone has something to say about your wedding. It’s really easy to let that tide overtake you. A pre-moon will help you clear your head and prioritize your relationship.
Ask yourself “What would a wedding that prioritizes your relationship, your love, and the life you want to lead look like? Who do you want to invite to celebrate that? What boundaries would you put in place to maintain some semblance of sanity?”
2. Remind Yourself of Your Why
Simple but necessary advice! “Why are you getting married? Why are you choosing to celebrate in this way?“
This isn’t meant to make you feel bad for your decisions but make you evaluate and commit to them. Create a short sentence and put it on sticky notes in places you’ll read. It’s a great reminder to yourself and your partner when things get stressful.
A pre-wedding vacation is a great time to come up with such a statement because you’ll have the clear head necessary for reflection.
3. Gain Perspective
Your wedding lasts less than a day. You plan on your marriage lasting for the rest of your days. It’s important when you’re planning your wedding to remember little “anchors” like that. Your attention can get so focused on the tedious details that you will likely not remember a year after your wedding. It doesn’t mean they don’t matter, it just means that you should always have that perspective in mind. The moment you’re creating matters but you have so many more moments ahead of you. If things go wrong, as they’re wont to do, it’s not the end of the world. It’s not a bad omen and it doesn’t make you look bad. It’s just a thing, don’t assign an arbitrary value to it.
If you keep your perspective glued on perfectionism you will freak the hell out multiple times during this process and wear yourself out. Who needs that? Why would you want to show up to your wedding tired, depleted, and over it?
Plan your pre-moon as close to your engagement announcement as possible. Does it have to be an elaborate trip to the French Riviera? Not at all! It can literally be you and your boo making pillow forts in your house for an entire weekend. It just needs to be a contained length of time where you’re not checking email, pressed about your wedding, or thinking about your wedding. Go on dates like you did early in your relationship. Take a drive in the country. Go volunteer at your favorite local non-profit. Watch every episode of the Golden Girls...twice. However you like to spend time with your love, commit to it and schedule it now. You deserve to have the experience you want, not just the one everyone is telling you to have. Go ahead and give yourself the time to do it. A pre-moon might seem unnecessary but it’ll save you a lot of stress and time down the road!
Jordan A. Maney is an Assistant Editor at Catalyst Wedding Co. and is a San Antonio-based wedding planner. She she started her company as a planning haven for all the couples the industry chooses to ignore. Instead of just making a brand, she's building a community. Find more of her sass, humor, and Southern hospitality at loveallthedays.com.