Nine Vows for Modern Couples Who View Their Union as an Equal Partnership

Rebecca Adler I Love You Too Weddings Vows

In the context of human history, and especially in light of the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage, the vows couples make at their weddings will be among the very first to consecrate a union between equal peers who are truly free to choose their lifetime partner. In Justice Kennedy’s words, marriage offers “unique fulfillment to those who find meaning in the secular realm...Rising from the most basic human needs, marriage is essential to our most profound hopes and aspirations.” 

In celebration of this great moment, and to help you craft a ceremony that embodies your own highest aspirations, here are nine new game-changing vows for modern couples. 

1. The value: Equality

"I promise to engage as an equal partner in every aspect of the life we are creating together, to share joys, sorrows, victories and the hard work that building a life together requires." 

2. The value: Inclusion

"I vow to honor our relationship as a haven of acceptance and belonging for you and for others." 

3. The value: Integrity

"I vow to bring my strongest self to this relationship, to act with integrity, honesty, and fearless authenticity." 

4. The value: Adventure

"I promise to travel to the edge with you, to seek a life that is thrilling, and to cherish the excitement of the unknown in adventures both near and far." 

5. The value: Intimacy

"I vow to reveal myself fully to you, to share an unfiltered journey of love and connection." 

6. The value: The Gifts of Imperfection

"I vow to become a life-long student of loving relationships, to hold our imperfect selves with humor and kindness, knowing that our mistakes will provide us our best learning, some of our deepest connection, and laughter for life." 

7. The value: Independence

"I promise to be a guardian of your independent spirit, to encourage your freedom, and to offer spaciousness to your soul." 

8. The value: Mindfulness

"I promise to pay loving attention to you and the life we are creating, to act with compassion and to live in a way that honors the interconnection of all beings." 

9. The value: Creativity

"I vow to champion your dreams, to believe in you, and to support you in the creative endeavors that make your heart sing." 

This article originally appeared in Volume Two of Catalyst Wedding Magazine.


 Cristina Spencer

Cristina Spencer is a writer & ceremony celebrant from Palo Alto, CA. She is the author of the book, Writing Your Own Wedding: A Simple Guide for Modern Couples