Yep. It is true. I am a single straight guy, and I do in fact dream about my wedding. It is something that I honestly cannot deny, and to that end, I do not feel the need to.
In my estimation, weddings are a celebration of experiences, the excitement of future moments shared, and the opportunity to express these recognitions with loved ones that will hopefully continue to have an impression in my partner's and my life. What more could I ask for?
I understand that for many couples, there are some very strong influences bringing a wedding day to fruition. Often times I hear about the familial expectations, anticipated debts, and the pomp and circumstance that can altogether make this occasion seem more like a finish line. There are certainly a number of variables to consider, but when I daydream about my wedding day I tend to see a vastly different picture. I dream about hoedowns, potlucks, bonfires, and silly stories shared. I think about bringing two families together and the important moments that have shaped a growing relationship. I think about how my partner and I will be filled with hope, nostalgia, joy, confidence, admiration, gratitude, and love.
I am a single straight guy, and I do in fact dream about my wedding.
It goes without saying that I absolutely want to share in the creation of the wedding day and the decisions behind it. As a groom-to-be, the normative script dictates that I sit idly by why I allow the "bridezilla" to stress out in making the wedding go. And while there are going to undoubtedly be times of stress, I am very much looking forward to sharing my daydreams, being an active participant, and supporting my partner in the creation of our wedding day—that includes both of us compromising at times. Marriage is, after all, a shared major life decision—with the key word being shared. Why wouldn’t this apply to the wedding itself?
With this in mind, I know the woman I marry will have a similar set of values and interests. This may not translate into having a hoedown, but it certainly will manifest itself into sharing many similar beliefs on what a wedding and marriage can and needs to be for us. Ultimately, I know the wedding and the decision making behind it will be a reflection of who we are, our values, and our commitment to one another. To be honest, it is sometimes hard to not think about all of the support, fun, and companionship to be had with a life partner and the wedding day that goes with it.
Some may call it brave, enlightened, or even naive to talk so freely about my desires for my wedding day. However you would like to see it, I hope that my candor can encourage further dialogue with couples in sharing how they want their wedding day to reflect their own values. Keep dreaming away and find time to share your wedding daydreams with your partner—even you fellas.
Kyle is a single 29 year-old currently residing in Cincinnati, Ohio. Kyle works with a nonprofit organization empowering high school students through outdoor adventure trips in the Greater Cincinnati area. When he is not working, Kyle enjoys volunteering, exploring the great outdoors, playing sports, writing, and is currently studying for his social work license. Feel free to forward any questions or comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.