My name is Nelle, and this is the story of how I came to propose to my beau Matt via a surprise, bedazzled, bikerideflashmob engagement party with 150 of our closest friends and family from around the world.  

Let’s start at the beginning. I’ve never wanted a traditional wedding: the expenses, the material waste, the long odds of success, the celebrations of heteronormativity and wealth, conveying women as property, etc.

I’m bi, and like most people, have a tenuous relationship with monogamy. I have always planned to queer my marriage. When I was six, I told my mom I would like to marry Ellen Degeneres, and I asked her to make the introduction. For most of my life, I assumed I would partner with some dreamy person and that we’d pack up our Subaru and elope.