Carly Romeo, and her team at Carly Romeo & Co., wants us to envision a world where all people looking to get married get honored, celebrated, and respected as individuals, and the bride-centrism that we commonly see in the wedding industry isn’t letting us (and our unions) be great. Here are just a few reasons why.

One year ago, my now-husband and I chose our wedding venue. A month later, a man who ran a presidential campaign on a platform of hate won by a wide margin in that town. Like many others, we wanted to mobilize resources for social issues put at risk by the election. Our wedding would be the largest set of consumer decisions that we would influence in a turbulent 2017, so we first set our sights on how to design a wedding day that celebrated our commitment, while also making a statement about what we stand for.

My name is Nelle, and this is the story of how I came to propose to my beau Matt via a surprise, bedazzled, bikerideflashmob engagement party with 150 of our closest friends and family from around the world.  

Let’s start at the beginning. I’ve never wanted a traditional wedding: the expenses, the material waste, the long odds of success, the celebrations of heteronormativity and wealth, conveying women as property, etc.

I’m bi, and like most people, have a tenuous relationship with monogamy. I have always planned to queer my marriage. When I was six, I told my mom I would like to marry Ellen Degeneres, and I asked her to make the introduction. For most of my life, I assumed I would partner with some dreamy person and that we’d pack up our Subaru and elope.

You and your fiancé are ready for the big day: You've found the perfect pair of locally-sourced rings, your outfits are on point, and any sexist traditions have been snuffed. Now, what about the dance playlist? No need to sift through your Spotify in vain—your song choices can be both feminist and rockin'. 

If you find yourself questioning something that feels inappropriate or abusive, then it probably is. Do not "use" an interracial couple in a shoot just to make your portfolio more diverse so you can start seeming more inclusive to the industry. Start first with yourself. Take a step back, and look at the inner circle of people you see every month. Who are they? What do you all talk about? Are you discussing issues related to populations you have no experience with? Do you participate in tokenizing? Overall, if you share these values and want to start out in the industry, double and then triple-check yourself and your own life. Because if you're still participating in social practices that are damaging or harmful toward marginalized groups in this country, whether it be consciously or subconsciously, then frankly you haven't done the work.

Modern Rebel & Co. is an alternative event planning company that gives back to local New York City non-profits. We interviewed the owner, Amy, about how to celebrate friendships at your wedding without making your friends begin to slowly resent you.

Have you met Amy Shackelford of Modern Rebel? She owns an awesome alternative event planning company in Brooklyn that partners with nonprofits. That means Modern Rebel donates money to domestic violence, homelessness, and education-based organizations every time her team coordinates an event. She also shares our feminist values, and she invited Catalyst to join her on a panel about feminism and weddings at this year's Love Union, a dreamy week-long staycation and education opportunity for wedding professionals in NYC. It's hosted by 501 Union, a gorgeous venue for weddings and events in the Gowanus neighborhood.