We’ve talked about toxic parents, now it’s time to talk about...well, you. Sometimes the toxicity you need to avoid to enjoy your wedding planning is coming from you. This is a guide for how to check-in with yourself and also check yourself to avoid turning into a flesh-eating zombie.

I was so desperate to believe I had found this person that I began to excuse the red flags erecting themselves faster than I could ever imagine. His disdain for my parents (and my parents’ disdain for him) was simply birthed from situational misunderstandings. His lack of motivation in education and work was an intentional (and brilliant) slap in the face of “the man.” His unwanted advances and coercing were a testimony of his attraction and devotion to me. Everything that soured my gut was immediately soothed the moment he kissed my forehead or proclaimed his endless love for my being. And I bought it.

Next summer, I will marry a man who has never lived in the same state as me. My fiancé, Greg, and I met on Tinder two years ago, and since then, we’ve taken turns to visit each other every weekend at my home in Natick, Massachusetts, and his in Manchester, Connecticut. 

Even getting married won’t guarantee that we can live together, as school and work tie us to our respective states for the foreseeable future. While there are times when this arrangement is difficult (mostly when I’m sitting on the Mass Pike in traffic), it has strengthened our relationship by making us truly appreciate our time together. Besides, you don’t pass up the love of your life because he’s geographically undesirable.

Jasmine speaks with Nate Bailey, the vision and voice behind The Loveumentary Podcast, about navigating the emotional landscape of your partner, developing your marital skill set, and bypassing unnecessary wedding planning arguments with a unique rating system. 

It was when she didn’t show up for hair and makeup that morning that I realized something. And the clarity of this realization quickly defused the anger that was starting to build inside. Laura and I weren’t growing apart. We’d actually never really been friends.