Sometimes, we assume that the only want to make “beautiful” happen is with the help of hair and makeup services, but it’s important to note that not all members of your wedding party may feel comfortable getting their hair and makeup professionally done for your big day.

We posed the question to our vendors: “Should you tell your wedding party what to wear?” The short answer: It’s complicated.

No matter what the specific cocktail of human emotions that sits at the center of wedding planning conflicts, here are three boundaries you must set for your family and friends when you start planning.

If your best friend is getting married and you want to give her a proper send-off into matrimony, a destination bachelorette party is the perfect way to do it. But, you may be worried about how to have an unforgettable girls’ getaway while staying within everyone’s budget. Don’t fret too much; there are ways you can plan the destination bachelorette party your friend deserves and keep everyone’s bank accounts in check.

The internet is crawling with playlists to match your wedding morning joy. If you rise like a flower, float to your bridal party, and arrive at the venue on a magic carpet — those playlists are for you. For all the betrothed who are hoping to speed through their makeup routine so they have more time to dance in the hotel room with their best friends, turn this up. 

It was when she didn’t show up for hair and makeup that morning that I realized something. And the clarity of this realization quickly defused the anger that was starting to build inside. Laura and I weren’t growing apart. We’d actually never really been friends. 

This sense of communal engagement is especially important in DIY weddings, with their emphasis on personal connections, small scale production, and cost saving. But can you ask too much of your friends and family on your special day?  Depending on the circumstances, there is a fine line between being a guest and feeling like staff.