Amy: I had so many back-to-back weddings with donuts (they're very in right now), and so at a client's wedding, while I totally knew in my heart of hearts they were not donuts, I had a brain fart and had the band announce that the donuts were now out at the dessert table! I was literally looking at these NOT DONUTS and saying, would you like a donut? Then, the photographer's assistant came up to me and said, “Amy, those are not donuts, right? They're like muffins, right?" And I was like, "no, they're donuts!" And then my assistant and I realized: WHAT THE HECK, THESE ARE CUPCAKES. I had a grandma or two ask for some donuts, and I had to sadly tell them we only had cupcakes. I'm a very on-top-of-my-shit lady, but that was the one moment I broke. Could have been worse! You have to laugh.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO PLAN A WEDDING WITHOUT GOING MAD?

Well, aside from what a whole LOT of media would like you to believe, people do it all the time. They decide to get married, they plan a wedding, and then they are married. And if they didn’t throw the most interesting/beautiful/fun/unique/fancy/quirky wedding any of their guests had ever seen—no one noticed. Because all the wedding industry expectations and Pinterest boards and so-called “must haves” don’t actually matter on a wedding day.

I’m sharing a few things to remember throughout the planning process to keep the spiraling in check and your priorities straight.

Amy of Modern Rebel & Co. is an alternative event planning company that gives back to local New York City non-profits that serve survivors of domestic violence, provide homes for the homeless, prevent suicide, and bridge education and art. She recently planned an immersive theater experience in a cemetery. She also happens to be a delightful person, and her website is the bomb.com. 

Björn VW is the owner of Björn & Company, a New York event planning and design company, who also organizes Forks, Corks, & Cocktails, an annual LGBTQ Food, Wine, and Cocktail show.