There is a Zen teaching that goes “when you have only a little time, meditate for 10 minutes. And if you have no time at all, then meditate for 20.” This teaching acknowledges that a sense of not having enough time is not an objective law, but rather a subjective experience, one that we can change.

The practice of accepting ourselves exactly where we are creates a more grounded and joyful wedding day, but it is also a foundational principle of mindfulness. (Or, if it jives better with you: it’s my party and I’ll feel weird if I want to). Sounds nice, right? But why can it be so hard to be exactly where we are, especially in extraordinary circumstances and on special days?

Varun and Amanda met up with me early in the morning on a weekday, on a day when the world was still too cool in the morning to not wear coats, but it warmed up quickly. They told me they met getting their MBAs and joked that their hands brushed while using excel, and the rest was history. We traipsed through the tiny bit of forest we found near the water in Georgetown, DC, as we discussed all things Wes Anderson, and Amanda talk about how Varun has taught her a lot about South Indian food and culture. We ended the session just as most coffee shops were opening and as the sun started to warm the city.