It’s a regular question couples have as they’re creating their guest list: Should kids be invited to the wedding? The answer isn’t a simple one, because whether or not kids are a good fit for your wedding day depends on a number of factors.

You’re creating your wedding budget and you’re lucky enough to have your parents helping out with the bill, but does that mean they have control over decisions like who gets to attend the wedding? It can be hard to balance your wedding day wants with your parents’ when they are helping to pick up the check, so we called on the members of our vendor directory to share their advice for how to manage those expectations.

There’s a rule I give to all my clients beginning their guest list. It’s very simple. “Are you actually going to talk to them?”