Being an Inclusive Officiant // The Joy of Saying "Yes!"

Being an Inclusive Officiant // The Joy of Saying "Yes!"

A couple of weeks after September 11, 2001, I got on a plane, flew to D.C., and joined two women in holy and completely illegal matrimony. Same-sex weddings were a crime in the state of Virginia, carrying a two-year prison sentence and a $250,000 fine. I was not concerned about going to prison. I was a tad concerned about terrorism and the war that was breaking out, and a bit worried about my own safety. One of the brides was a Marine, and her father, also a Marine, had threatened to come shoot both brides if he could find them. I did not wish to be shot. I am an avoider of arguments, embarrassing social situations, and conflict of all kinds. I did not wish to be shot or shouted at or even to receive snarky, sarcastic comments. But I also could not stand by, and say no, and refuse to marry this couple of women who loved each other and wanted God’s blessing on their union. So I said yes.

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Queer + Christian // How A Christian-First Identity Causes Further Oppression

Queer + Christian // How A Christian-First Identity Causes Further Oppression

When I enter church, I don’t get to take off my womanness or my blackness or my queerness and just enter as Christian. I enter as all of me, which includes the parts of my identity that our society privileges and the parts of my identity that our society oppresses. Shout out to Mother Lorde who preached to us all that, There is no thing as a single-issue struggle, because we do not live single-issue lives.

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Queer + Christian // It's Okay to Congratulate Your Friends Even If You Disagree With Them

Queer + Christian // It's Okay to Congratulate Your Friends Even If You Disagree With Them

Since being engaged and now married to my wife for the past six months, I would say that the word “congratulations” has trended in my life. Used to express good wishes on a special occasion, I’ve come to really appreciate how this one word can express love and expand a sense of community when spoken over those who are celebrating an important time in their lives. Given the influx of “congratulations” to my wife and myself, it has also made the lack of this expression glaringly obvious and painful by those in our lives that we love. The pain is increased in knowing that some justify their lack of “good wishes” because of their Christian beliefs that being gay is a sin, and marriage is only legit if it involves one man and one woman.

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