The Invisible Labor Women Endure While Wedding Planning

The Invisible Labor Women Endure While Wedding Planning

What are all the unacknowledged ways that a bride labors over her own wedding? A big part of it is emotional labor. More often than not, the bride is the wedding’s emotional referee. She fields dozens of requests, needs, and opinions (so many opinions!) from family, friends, and other guests. The stakes are high, too. If she messes up and shows any sign of frustration or anxiety or stress, there’s a nasty word to put her back in her place (it rhymes with “Godzilla”).

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Why We Need More Disability Representation in Weddings

Why We Need More Disability Representation in Weddings

Owners and sisters, Laura Allen and Sarah Parker, of The White Collection change the window display monthly but they had no idea what a statement they were making when they decided to display a mannequin sitting in a wheelchair. In an industry that tends to exclude those that are different, this new example of inclusion is hopefully the beginning of a bigger movement.

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9 Things We Saw at the Cannabis Wedding Expo in Denver

9 Things We Saw at the Cannabis Wedding Expo in Denver

People love this stuff! And there is no shortage of vendors and ways that you can incorporate cannabis into your wedding. That said, being at an event about enjoying cannabis filled with mainly white faces in stark juxtaposition to the black and brown ones filling prisons for doing the same thing left me feeling a way.

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Enough Is Enough: In Response to This Week's Anti-LGBTQ+ News in the Wedding Industry

Enough Is Enough: In Response to This Week's Anti-LGBTQ+ News in the Wedding Industry

Last week, the self-delusion fell squarely on the shoulders of a Denver-based videography company, Media Mansion. This coupled with the United Methodist Church’s recent vote for restrictions against queer clergy (many whom have sustained my last remaining ounce of faith in Christianity) and queer couples to marry in their churches has many of us worn out, scared, and feeling helpless.

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Wedding Photography Has Failed Us, and Body Bias Is to Blame

Wedding Photography Has Failed Us, and Body Bias Is to Blame

No matter the magazine, blog, or social media post it’s all the same: generally young, thin, conventionally attractive couples posed in amazing scenery, and it’s getting old. 

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Stop Asking Engaged People About Their Weddings

Stop Asking Engaged People About Their Weddings

What a horrible situation this puts engaged couples in, especially women. What should be a joyous occasion becomes so much work that you can't even enjoy it. It becomes yet another thing you have to do.

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Kin Aesthetics // Thinking Beyond Marriage

Kin Aesthetics // Thinking Beyond Marriage

By making what felt like my first adult decision, I had hopped on an escalator and couldn’t get off. We grew to love each other, and I wasn’t miserable. Yet I increasingly wondered, is this it?

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Thanksgiving Is a Sham Holiday. Give Yourself Permission To Enjoy It.

Thanksgiving Is a Sham Holiday. Give Yourself Permission To Enjoy It.

While I want all of us to remember the origins of this historically toxic holiday, I’m also going to acknowledge that a lot of people need this day. And if you need this holiday, I want you to give yourself permission to enjoy it.

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3 Actions to Take in the Wake of the SCOTUS Decision

3 Actions to Take in the Wake of the SCOTUS Decision

Without a doubt this ruling will be used as precedence for even more discriminatory cases. It is a reminder of the work ahead of us. It is a blow to the spirit and well-being of the LGBTQIA+ community. It is a call to action to those of us who call ourselves allies. So here are three actions to take NOW to respond to this decision.

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Queer + Christian // Love, Marriage and Half Year Celebrations!

Queer + Christian // Love, Marriage and Half Year Celebrations!

Being the kid at heart that I am, in addition to celebrations marking a full year of things, I also love celebrating halfs, and last month was the half anniversary of our wedding — one and a half years married ya’ll!!!  Throw confetti, release the unicorns, and let Kool & The Gang in to “Celebrate good times, come on!”

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How to Succeed at Weddings by Admitting Their Sexist Failures: Musings from The Feminist Bride

How to Succeed at Weddings by Admitting Their Sexist Failures: Musings from The Feminist Bride

Yearning for a successful wedding or to at least not get kicked out of more than one wedding party, I started studying how to be a bride and the history of Western wedding traditions. That’s when I uncovered how wedding traditions were originally designed to pressure women into becoming mothers, to erase their individuality for the sake of family, to give men power over them, and to discriminate against anyone who wasn’t a white, cis heterosexual.

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Not Everyone in the #MeToo Movement Can Publicly Share Their Stories

Not Everyone in the #MeToo Movement Can Publicly Share Their Stories

When accusations began to circulate during the last few weeks surrounding sexual harassment and assault in the wedding industry, we at Catalyst created a platform where individuals could anonymously submit their stories without fear of backlash. We don’t know the names of the parties involved, and we don’t need to. You don’t need to know a person’s identity to hear their story. And if you are someone who has been abused, you don’t need to see a person testify in a court of law to feel like you’re less alone.

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The Wedding Industry Has a Serious Sexual Assault Problem

The Wedding Industry Has a Serious Sexual Assault Problem

It’s not unusual that a man who has been told he’s untouchable, that he is a celebrity, and that he is at the top of his field, thinks he can have whatever he wants by whatever means he feels is necessary, but it is reprehensible, and it is time our industry stopped being quiet about it.

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Et tu, Aziz?

Et tu, Aziz?

When men are socialized from a very young age to seek sex from women and to be the sexual pursuers and initiators, while women are socialized to withhold sex, to flirt, and to read and react to others’ desires, this is a recipe for a rape culture. Make no mistake, based on the woman’s account Aziz was without a doubt sexually coercive, and we believe her and stand with her. But my point here is that a degree of sexual coercion is highly normalized in our culture as romantic, flirtatious, and even a form of foreplay.

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Martin Luther King, Jr. Tribute Photo Session

Martin Luther King, Jr. Tribute Photo Session

As a high school senior photographer for guys in Houston and mom to a handsome little guy, it is my goal to encourage and support young men near and far through my imagery. As the late Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” I have the same dream that my children and the young people that I photograph can live out their days judged by their character and not by the color of their skin.

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Being an Inclusive Officiant // The Joy of Saying "Yes!"

Being an Inclusive Officiant // The Joy of Saying "Yes!"

A couple of weeks after September 11, 2001, I got on a plane, flew to D.C., and joined two women in holy and completely illegal matrimony. Same-sex weddings were a crime in the state of Virginia, carrying a two-year prison sentence and a $250,000 fine. I was not concerned about going to prison. I was a tad concerned about terrorism and the war that was breaking out, and a bit worried about my own safety. One of the brides was a Marine, and her father, also a Marine, had threatened to come shoot both brides if he could find them. I did not wish to be shot. I am an avoider of arguments, embarrassing social situations, and conflict of all kinds. I did not wish to be shot or shouted at or even to receive snarky, sarcastic comments. But I also could not stand by, and say no, and refuse to marry this couple of women who loved each other and wanted God’s blessing on their union. So I said yes.

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Tulle & Fury // Tis the Season

Tulle & Fury // Tis the Season

Look y’all. LOOK! 2018 is here, and I’m glad to say that my body is still intact, the zombie apocalypse didn’t happen, and we avoided WWIII... for now. After the Rapture of 2016 when everyone and their mama was beamed up into the ether, we were left wondering what foolishness 2017 had in store for us. Did it pack a wallop or what?! I uninstalled my news and social media apps so many times to avoid having to hear another doomsday headline or read another think piece I almost forgot my passwords. From mass shooting to mass shooting to mass shooting to marches to nazis to Sean Spicer’s mismatched shoes to meltdowns to bans to dreams deferred to investigations to more nazis to protests to confederate statues to the toppling of sexual abusers to black women snatching political wigs, it was almost like Quentin Tarantino directed our entire year. We’ve been through some shit. We’ve weathered plenty of storms on every end — politically, socially, historically, literally, mentally, and financially to the point where we’re pretty much over it. But I didn’t want to write about the complete suckage of the past 365 days. Let’s look at our year with fresh eyes, shall we?

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