Divorced at 23

Divorced at 23

I was so desperate to believe I had found this person that I began to excuse the red flags erecting themselves faster than I could ever imagine. His disdain for my parents (and my parents’ disdain for him) was simply birthed from situational misunderstandings. His lack of motivation in education and work was an intentional (and brilliant) slap in the face of “the man.” His unwanted advances and coercing were a testimony of his attraction and devotion to me. Everything that soured my gut was immediately soothed the moment he kissed my forehead or proclaimed his endless love for my being. And I bought it.

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On the Social Pressures around Weddings and How to Maintain a Sense of Self Despite Them

On the Social Pressures around Weddings and How to Maintain a Sense of Self Despite Them

I think part of the reason I struggle with having a wedding is that I am new to it. I have identified as a queer, white woman for years. I have had years to grapple with heteropatriarchal systems and my position as a financially privileged white person, even before I had a critical vocabulary to discuss them. But I am only newly a bride-to-be and only newly have to confront the related assumptions that are made about me.

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