The Official Bachelor Blog of Trump's Second Year in Office // Week Two

The Official Bachelor Blog of Trump's Second Year in Office // Week Two

This week, our papery skinned Bachelor got to know the ladies he would later be having sex with, and it wasn't all roses and emotionally stable professionals. He got to know women with blond hair, women with vocal fry, women with babies, women with rooms and rooms of preserved dead animals, women who are not yet legally allowed to marry in 26 states, and women with traumatic childhood amusement park memories.

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The Official Bachelor Blog of Trump's Second Year in Office // Week One

The Official Bachelor Blog of Trump's Second Year in Office // Week One

His name is Ari and here is everything I know about him: his family seems to be recent Dutch immigrants. He is a "racecar driver" who is involved with real estate on the side. He is the Victorian ghost in a Wes Anderson movie. He looks like a swamp at dusk. The three things that make him excited to be alive are excitement, adrenaline, and pizza. He starred on a season of The Bachelorette that aired years ago, before I had even heard of the show, perhaps before I had even made my acquaintance with this sad world. He appears to be well over half way done with being alive.

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Tulle & Fury // Tis the Season

Tulle & Fury // Tis the Season

Look y’all. LOOK! 2018 is here, and I’m glad to say that my body is still intact, the zombie apocalypse didn’t happen, and we avoided WWIII... for now. After the Rapture of 2016 when everyone and their mama was beamed up into the ether, we were left wondering what foolishness 2017 had in store for us. Did it pack a wallop or what?! I uninstalled my news and social media apps so many times to avoid having to hear another doomsday headline or read another think piece I almost forgot my passwords. From mass shooting to mass shooting to mass shooting to marches to nazis to Sean Spicer’s mismatched shoes to meltdowns to bans to dreams deferred to investigations to more nazis to protests to confederate statues to the toppling of sexual abusers to black women snatching political wigs, it was almost like Quentin Tarantino directed our entire year. We’ve been through some shit. We’ve weathered plenty of storms on every end — politically, socially, historically, literally, mentally, and financially to the point where we’re pretty much over it. But I didn’t want to write about the complete suckage of the past 365 days. Let’s look at our year with fresh eyes, shall we?

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Debunking Bigotry // What the End of DACA Means for 800,000 Americans

Debunking Bigotry // What the End of DACA Means for 800,000 Americans

As I currently watch my city of Portland engulfed in smoke and ash from the Eagle Creek Fires and observe the Harvey death toll rise, I am reminded that we still have the most menacing man in office, as he declares an end to a program dedicated for children of immigrants. He truly just wants to watch the world burn. He throws DACA into the mix like gasoline, and we are left to figure out the rest.

Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals is a program initiated by the Obama administration, which started in 2012. It grants a renewable two year protection from deportation and gives a work permit to anyone who entered the U.S. as a minor (called Dreamers.) Usually we hear some alt-facts, some fear tactics, and a weird justification thrown into the mix for one of Trump's usual antics, but this time, it's almost as if they have nothing to say. 

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The Official Bachelorette Blog of Trump's America // Week Eleven

The Official Bachelorette Blog of Trump's America // Week Eleven

Welcome back to The Bachelorette, the only competition show where third-place is the real winner.

Tonight’s finale began with a betrayal. Is there anyone among us who does not feel disrespected by the new structure? As someone vehemently opposed to both staying up past 10:15 and watching Rachel Lindsay process the emotions I just watched her process for over eight episodes for another fucking hour, I think I speak for all women when I say fuck you ABC.

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Debunking Bigotry // The Trans Military Ban

Debunking Bigotry // The Trans Military Ban

Besides waking up on Wednesday to the news that our five-time draft dodger and commander-in-chief cowardly went to Twitter to announce his position to ban transgender individuals from the military, a lot of us also woke up to gross misinformation from our colleagues, friends, and family. I decided to debunk some of the claims that have been made in defense of Trump’s decision in hopes that the next time you or someone you love is confronted with these excuses you will be able to shut them down.

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The Official Bachelorette Blog of Trump's America // Week Nine

The Official Bachelorette Blog of Trump's America // Week Nine

Welcome back to my coverage of The Bachelorette, the only show that hates walls as much as those dirty liberals.

Last night’s episode was very confusing, or maybe that was due to the full bottle of wine I consumed by myself throughout its duration. My alcohol metabolism, unlike my Cheez-It metabolism, is fast as shit though, so I don’t think that was the problem.

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The Official Bachelorette Blog of Trump's America // Week Eight

The Official Bachelorette Blog of Trump's America // Week Eight

Welcome back to The Bachelorette, the only show that makes you feel like climate change might be a good thing. 

This week, Rachel has the great honor of meeting all four of her boyfriends' families, including the converted kundalini yogi father of her 25-year-old start-up recruiting boyfriend, Dean. 

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Real Couples // Spontaneous Friday the 13th Elopement: Mariam + Fernando

Real Couples // Spontaneous Friday the 13th Elopement: Mariam + Fernando

I never wanted to plan a wedding, as I think it’s a waste of our time and money. I always believed that the plan would reveal itself when we’re ready. So a week ago, we jokingly talked about getting married before Trump becomes president. We looked at the calendar and saw Friday the 13th and thought it was perfect! Shortly after, we picked what to wear from our closets, we asked friends (and our witnesses) to come over on Friday, and we spent less than $500 in food, drinks, etc. We had no plan. Our only plan was to enjoy each other’s company.

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Autostraddle Stories // Digging Up the Truth Through Fiction Writing in Trump's America

Autostraddle Stories // Digging Up the Truth Through Fiction Writing in Trump's America

Fiction is about truth, in a deeper sense. And in the political times we’ve brought ourselves into, in this age of Trump and fake news and alternative facts, we are in dire need of the truth. Now, it could be said that “alternative facts” and fiction are technically synonymous — both are factually inaccurate or completely invented versions of events. But the important distinction is in the intention. The intention of spreading alternative facts is to obscure the truth. The intention of writing fiction is to reveal it. Fiction is about radical honesty.

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The Official Bachelorette Blog of Trump's America // Week One

The Official Bachelorette Blog of Trump's America // Week One

This season was hotly anticipated by critics and civilians alike because Rachel (drum roll, please) is the first black bachelorette. Critics wondered things like: Will Rachel’s ascendance finally force Chris Harrison to reckon with the violent misdeeds of his white ancestors? Will this season feature smart, insightful, relatable conversations about interracial dating? What could someone as beautiful and witty and successful as Rachel possibly have seen in Nick Viall? 

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The Elephant in the Room: Why Is No One Talking about How Hot Jon Ossoff Is?

The Elephant in the Room: Why Is No One Talking about How Hot Jon Ossoff Is?

Everybody is talking about buzzy, young, upstart Jonathan Ossoff. The 30-year-old Democrat narrowly missed winning in a Republican-dominated Atlanta district Wednesday and will take on Republican Karen Handel in a June face-off.

But there’s an elephant in the room. A big one. A sexy one. A big, sexy elephant. And nobody is saying it so I will: 

Everybody is talking about buzzy, young, upstart Jonathan Ossoff. The 30-year-old Democrat narrowly missed winning in a Republican-dominated Atlanta district Wednesday and will take on Republican Karen Handel in a June face-off.

But there’s an elephant in the room. A big one. A sexy one. A big, sexy elephant. And nobody is saying it so I will: Jon Ossoff is smoking hot.

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Our Autostraddle Campership Winner // Jessica Alvarez

Our Autostraddle Campership Winner // Jessica Alvarez

I was drunk on tequila the night I came out to my mother. It was a week after the election and more than two weeks since she told me she was voting for Donald Trump. I couldn’t fathom how my Hispanic immigrant mother could vote for such a vile man who spewed malicious lie after malicious lie about the Hispanic community, about her. “Because Hilary Clinton supports abortion and gay marriage,” she told me, her closeted daughter, parroting divisive conservative propaganda like scripture. I caved into myself, a coping mechanism whenever she went on her ‘homosexuality is a sin’ rants, wondering what she would say if she knew I was gay.

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Real Couples // San Francisco City Hall Resistance Wedding: Thomas + Craig

Real Couples // San Francisco City Hall Resistance Wedding: Thomas + Craig

The pair was planning an August wedding at the Berkeley Botanical Gardens, but given the current political climate they decided to move up their legal ceremony. I donated this session as a part of Catalyst Wed Co’s movement to support LGBTQ and undocumented couples in the wake of the election. Thomas, Craig, and I gave $500 to the Trevor Project, which provides crisis intervention for LGBTQ youth, in lieu of the session fee.

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The Official Bachelor Blog of Trump's America // The Finale

The Official Bachelor Blog of Trump's America // The Finale

Vanessa meets Nick in the woods to ride ponies, and he’s like, “This is a week that’s filled with mutual decisions,” even though it’s obviously not, and nobody should be more acutely aware of that than Nick “Always the Groom’s Competition, Never the Groom” Viall.

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The Official Bachelor Blog of Trump's America // Week Nine

The Official Bachelor Blog of Trump's America // Week Nine

This episode picks back up in that Brooklyn hotel room, where Nick’s ex-TV girlfriend, Andi, is about to give him some tough, honest advice about loving himself. Nick, who slut-shamed Andi on her After-the Rose special by pretending to feel betrayed that she had lain ‘pon his dick when her heart was elsewhere, deserves no empathy. Andi is pulling off the moral equivalent of looking your bully in the eye and saying, “I’m sorry you hate yourself, but I love you and so does Jesus.”

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The Official Bachelor Blog of Trump's America // Week Eight

The Official Bachelor Blog of Trump's America // Week Eight

Welcome back to The Bachelor, the show where four women risk it all by giving their home address to a near-stranger who might become their husband.This is the hometown episode, and it starts in Hoxie, Arkansas, which I can’t help but suspect is not actually Raven’s hometown or, really, anybody’s hometown.

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Kin Aesthetics // Queer Kinship in a Trump Dystopia

Kin Aesthetics // Queer Kinship in a Trump Dystopia

When I began identifying publicly as queer and entered the local queer community, my dream of having an instant family never quite materialized. I pushed myself to go out to house parties, bars, poetry readings, marches, workshops, all geared towards LGBTQ folks. In those spaces and in every interaction, I learned so much about the culture of queerness and the specific politics that define queerness beyond sexuality or gender.

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