Why Every Couple Should Consider Premarital Counseling

Why Every Couple Should Consider Premarital Counseling

It’s not a relationship death sentence, and yet so many react as if I’ve given them one when I suggest it. Premarital counseling. Somehow we’ve associated that with being sent to the principal’s office or having our parents say they’re “disappointed" in us. We treat it like it means there's a problem, but premarital counseling isn’t a sign of problems, it’s the solution to them.

Read More

Tulle & Fury // Being Woke Can Break You Down: How to Find the Balance

Tulle & Fury // Being Woke Can Break You Down: How to Find the Balance

We didn’t take our first breath of air in this world being the most radical, the most conscious, or the most woke. We got conditioned into believing a lot of harmful, untrue things. It takes some of us decades to unlearn those things, some even longer still, but it’s not a sudden result, it’s a process.

Read More

Tulle & Fury // Tis the Season

Tulle & Fury // Tis the Season

Look y’all. LOOK! 2018 is here, and I’m glad to say that my body is still intact, the zombie apocalypse didn’t happen, and we avoided WWIII... for now. After the Rapture of 2016 when everyone and their mama was beamed up into the ether, we were left wondering what foolishness 2017 had in store for us. Did it pack a wallop or what?! I uninstalled my news and social media apps so many times to avoid having to hear another doomsday headline or read another think piece I almost forgot my passwords. From mass shooting to mass shooting to mass shooting to marches to nazis to Sean Spicer’s mismatched shoes to meltdowns to bans to dreams deferred to investigations to more nazis to protests to confederate statues to the toppling of sexual abusers to black women snatching political wigs, it was almost like Quentin Tarantino directed our entire year. We’ve been through some shit. We’ve weathered plenty of storms on every end — politically, socially, historically, literally, mentally, and financially to the point where we’re pretty much over it. But I didn’t want to write about the complete suckage of the past 365 days. Let’s look at our year with fresh eyes, shall we?

Read More

Tulle & Fury // Deteriorating Mental Health and Entrepeneurship

Tulle & Fury // Deteriorating Mental Health and Entrepeneurship

Three months ago I started to feel depressed; you know the kind of slow dread that works its ways into your bones? That was me. I finally recognized the culprits, so I stopped checking the headlines first thing in the morning, I took Facebook and other social media apps off of my phone, and something spectacular happened because of it. I felt better. I liked getting up in the morning. I didn’t feel the creeping anxiety of wondering who else was going to lose rights, livelihoods, or lives that day. Ignorance was freaking bliss. The world didn’t stop. Shitty things kept happening, but I stopped finding out about them.

Read More

Tulle + Fury // Diversifying Your Portfolio is Simple

Tulle + Fury // Diversifying Your Portfolio is Simple

From Facebook groups for creatives, to one-on-ones and networking events, I’ve heard again and again, “I really want to break into ‘that‘ market.” Or my personal favorite, “Well how do I find ‘them’?”

Y’ALL. Honey. Baby. Sweet Lord.

I promise I will try not to be condescending, but it’s a little obtuse, don’t you think? If you’re a photographer that wants to do more black weddings, do a shoot with black people in it. I promise y’all it’s that easy. Do you know why? People just want to see themselves represented. People want to see themselves.

Read More

Tulle + Fury // Diversity is Too Often a Tokenizing Buzzword, Especially at Conferences

Tulle + Fury // Diversity is Too Often a Tokenizing Buzzword, Especially at Conferences

I’m not going to lie, I love conferences. The networking, the speakers, the development, and an awesome trip? Count me in! But the more I started to research conferences for the next year, the more frustrated I grew. Why the hell did everyone look alike?! ’m fascinated by influencer conferences that can’t seem to find black, brown, queer, differently-abled, or female voices for panels. I’m even more fascinated how if you’re any combination of these identities, it’s even harder to find representation at major events.

Read More

Tulle & Fury // The Joy of the Oppressed is Political

Tulle & Fury // The Joy of the Oppressed is Political

I often felt like I wasn’t fighting hard enough. I wasn’t doing enough to combat the trauma and distress of racism and institutionalized hate. I felt like I was hiding. But then I sat down and looked at the work that I do. It’s beyond the details. The core of the work is facilitating joy. As I heard David Tutera describe it, the burden of wedding professionals is to create a “bubble” moment that envelopes everyone and allows them to escape.

Read More

Tulle & Fury // Being Sexually Harassed by Married Men at Weddings

Tulle & Fury // Being Sexually Harassed by Married Men at Weddings

To make it even worse, the large majority of men who’ve hit on me at weddings are married. Physical safety aside, there is an emotional cost to working so hard to plan a celebration of marriage and then witness someone else shit all over theirs. What is it about weddings that emboldens guests to act like they aren’t married? Is it the desire to feel in control? Or to assert power over a woman? Especially a woman of color?  Is it simply because they’re A-holes?

Read More