The Greatest Love Comes When You Fully Embrace Who You Are

The Greatest Love Comes When You Fully Embrace Who You Are

Aidy Bryant, comedian of SNL fame and all around badass, recently got married in a beautiful ceremony in NYC. The pictures were gorgeous because duh, love, but something else made it beautiful — she loved herself as she was. That shouldn’t be a radical statement but it is. Allow me to explain.

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Real Bodies // Kaity's Boudoir Session and Her Journey to Self Love

Real Bodies // Kaity's Boudoir Session and Her Journey to Self Love

I’ll say it until I’m blue in the face — if you make one investment in yourself in your lifetime, make it boudoir. Don’t wait until you lose that last 20lbs, or until you get rid of the cellulite on your ass. Don’t do it for your partner. Don’t do it for valentines. Do it for you.

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Tulle & Fury // Being Woke Can Break You Down: How to Find the Balance

Tulle & Fury // Being Woke Can Break You Down: How to Find the Balance

We didn’t take our first breath of air in this world being the most radical, the most conscious, or the most woke. We got conditioned into believing a lot of harmful, untrue things. It takes some of us decades to unlearn those things, some even longer still, but it’s not a sudden result, it’s a process.

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Black BeauTEA Talk // Selfish Self Care

Black BeauTEA Talk // Selfish Self Care

I think that people have romanticized the idea of self care; we don’t talk about what it really means to take care of self. What I want you to do when thinking about self care is to keep in mind those things that you need so badly. This includes the physical, mental, emotional, and financial. What is it going to take you to get to the place you need to be in these areas?

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Thoughts from A Therapist // All I Want for Christmas is the Perfect Relationship

Thoughts from A Therapist // All I Want for Christmas is the Perfect Relationship
  • How active have you been in your search for a perfect partner? How did that work — or not work — for you?
  • How good are you at letting people come to you? Can you relax and let things unfold when you're dating someone?
  • What are your standards for your perfect partner? Are they the same or different than your standards for yourself?
  • How similar have you been to past (or your present) partner(s)? How have you been different?
  • What patterns do you see in your past relationships?  What do you see as your biggest obstacles in meeting your perfect partner?
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Thoughts from A Therapist // Mentally Healthy Holidays

Thoughts from A Therapist // Mentally Healthy Holidays

As a psychotherapist, this is one of the busiest times of year. Why? Because “The Holidays” bring up so many unrealistic expectations for many of us. We get depressed because we compare ourselves, our gifts and our families with what we think other people experience. We all imagine everyone else is having a lot more fun than we are.  

But honestly, we have no idea how happy or miserable anyone else is behind their façade. If you could sit in my chair and hear how unhappy most people are at this time of year, you’d stop envying them.

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30 Things I Learned by Age 30

30 Things I Learned by Age 30

Yesterday, I turned 30. It was something I had been anticipating for about a year and a half; it felt imperative that I make the time to reflect on my 20s in preparation for a new decade. In a way I was scared; I feared that I wouldn't be where I was "supposed" to be by 30, both in my career and personal life. Many people told me that fear was silly, but it was real to me. And then my birthday finally came, and my friends and family surprised me with a community yoga class, spontaneous musical performances, and a sleepover. As I sat in the middle of a chorus of "happy birthday" over the backdrop of babies fussing, I looked around me to see the open faces of my friends and family, and I realized I actually had more than I could have ever hoped for by age 30 — more love, more beautiful relationships, more joy than I ever imagined. As a kid, I really longed to be woven into the fabric of community, and here I am, relishing that sense of belonging.

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5 Self Care Tips for Feeling Your Best on Your Wedding Day

5 Self Care Tips for Feeling Your Best on Your Wedding Day

Planning and preparing for a wedding can be stressful. Start the process of alleviating your stress by identifying the sources.  There are two types of stress: eustress, which is positive and can be motivating, and distress, a negative source of anxiety. What is unnecessary and can be left behind, eradicated, or revamped? Create a to-do list, and delegate tasks to people that you trust, like your wedding party or coordinator who will help to disperse the load. Surround yourself with a positive support team that can help you to stay clear of unnecessary tension. Then begin implementing a daily routine like meditation and breathing techniques with a cup of herbal tea to start your day. This can create a moment for yourself and set the tone that will help you to feel grounded and ready to tackle what’s left on your to-do list.

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Wedding Inspiration // "Table For One" Self-Love Styled Shoot

Wedding Inspiration // "Table For One" Self-Love Styled Shoot

When planning a wedding, typically you do so without ever thinking you will virtually undo all of it. The endless coordination of vendors and schedules, guests and wedding party — there is an emotional investment in each of these phone calls, emails and appointments. They all become a part of this process leading to a day when you will pledge your life and love to another person. However, when the wedding is called off just weeks before the big day, and everything comes to a halt, you are left with...what exactly? I was not sure. It was a painful decision to make, but somehow I knew it was the right one for myself and my son.

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On the Social Pressures around Weddings and How to Maintain a Sense of Self Despite Them

On the Social Pressures around Weddings and How to Maintain a Sense of Self Despite Them

I think part of the reason I struggle with having a wedding is that I am new to it. I have identified as a queer, white woman for years. I have had years to grapple with heteropatriarchal systems and my position as a financially privileged white person, even before I had a critical vocabulary to discuss them. But I am only newly a bride-to-be and only newly have to confront the related assumptions that are made about me.

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