By making what felt like my first adult decision, I had hopped on an escalator and couldn’t get off. We grew to love each other, and I wasn’t miserable. Yet I increasingly wondered, is this it?Read More
Given that marriage is now defined more by personal desire rather than economic necessity, do we need to keep marriage a forever thing? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have renewable marriages of varyng lengths based on your needs — say two to five years if you want to experience married life before deciding to have children or not (because living together is not the same as marriage in the eyes of the law and even your friends and family), or 18 years if you’ve made that leap and wish to raise them to adulthood?Read More
Andy and Karen have been through the ringer in love. They thought they both had something but both ended in divorce. What Andy thought was love was simply going through the motions. What Karen thought was love was a different kind of love. These were both hard times, yet they have healed and learned and have become stronger.
And through this, they have discovered new depths. New uncharted continents. Andy has learned to love and take care of himself. Karen has discovered new power in herself and loves Nick as a friend and co-parent. I think you both have discovered love in its fullness and depth. A greater depth and rooting....A love that won’t dissolve and fall once the season changes. Your roots are entwined and you are one tree, not two.Read More
When planning a wedding, typically you do so without ever thinking you will virtually undo all of it. The endless coordination of vendors and schedules, guests and wedding party — there is an emotional investment in each of these phone calls, emails and appointments. They all become a part of this process leading to a day when you will pledge your life and love to another person. However, when the wedding is called off just weeks before the big day, and everything comes to a halt, you are left with...what exactly? I was not sure. It was a painful decision to make, but somehow I knew it was the right one for myself and my son.Read More
I was so desperate to believe I had found this person that I began to excuse the red flags erecting themselves faster than I could ever imagine. His disdain for my parents (and my parents’ disdain for him) was simply birthed from situational misunderstandings. His lack of motivation in education and work was an intentional (and brilliant) slap in the face of “the man.” His unwanted advances and coercing were a testimony of his attraction and devotion to me. Everything that soured my gut was immediately soothed the moment he kissed my forehead or proclaimed his endless love for my being. And I bought it.Read More
A phrase I heard repeatedly when I worked as a bridal consultant was, “it only happens once!” Bridal consultants and guests frequently used this phrase when a bride thought twice about a purchase.
For example, let’s say a bride was trying to decide whether or not she should wear a veil. A bridal consultant could then reply with, “It’s your wedding, it only happens once! You’ll only be wearing the veil a short time, and it’ll make such an impact.” In this case, the bridal consultant is appealing to a bride's emotional desire to both look fantastic on her wedding day and to plan a successful and memorable party. This sales tactic is often times effective, as the desire to plan the perfect wedding is the fuel that keeps the wedding industry alive.Read More
Congratulations! You, my darling reader, are getting married, and that is a truly wonderful thing. You have cultivated a relationship based upon mutual respect, and you trust your fiancé with your heart and your future. You love your fiancé and can’t wait to build a life together. You know life will bring you both joy and hardship, but you are choosing to share all the best and the worst of it with your other. And finally, you are eager to memorialize this commitment before family and friends on your wedding day.Read More