Aidy Bryant, comedian of SNL fame and all around badass, recently got married in a beautiful ceremony in NYC. The pictures were gorgeous because duh, love, but something else made it beautiful — she loved herself as she was. That shouldn’t be a radical statement but it is. Allow me to explain.Read More
I’ll say it until I’m blue in the face — if you make one investment in yourself in your lifetime, make it boudoir. Don’t wait until you lose that last 20lbs, or until you get rid of the cellulite on your ass. Don’t do it for your partner. Don’t do it for valentines. Do it for you.Read More
But something happened in the months and years that have followed since my wedding that forced me to change my entire worldview around marriage and partnership — I found I could be happily married and still be very much depressed.Read More
Starting your business is scary, and half the time even the most experience entrepreneurs feel like they have no idea what they're doing (**cough** me **cough**), but there are a few important things that I learned from my time in the corporate world that all entrepreneurs should consider when they first start out.Read More
I think that people have romanticized the idea of self care; we don’t talk about what it really means to take care of self. What I want you to do when thinking about self care is to keep in mind those things that you need so badly. This includes the physical, mental, emotional, and financial. What is it going to take you to get to the place you need to be in these areas?Read More
As a psychotherapist, this is one of the busiest times of year. Why? Because “The Holidays” bring up so many unrealistic expectations for many of us. We get depressed because we compare ourselves, our gifts and our families with what we think other people experience. We all imagine everyone else is having a lot more fun than we are.
But honestly, we have no idea how happy or miserable anyone else is behind their façade. If you could sit in my chair and hear how unhappy most people are at this time of year, you’d stop envying them.Read More
Planning and preparing for a wedding can be stressful. Start the process of alleviating your stress by identifying the sources. There are two types of stress: eustress, which is positive and can be motivating, and distress, a negative source of anxiety. What is unnecessary and can be left behind, eradicated, or revamped? Create a to-do list, and delegate tasks to people that you trust, like your wedding party or coordinator who will help to disperse the load. Surround yourself with a positive support team that can help you to stay clear of unnecessary tension. Then begin implementing a daily routine like meditation and breathing techniques with a cup of herbal tea to start your day. This can create a moment for yourself and set the tone that will help you to feel grounded and ready to tackle what’s left on your to-do list.Read More
When planning a wedding, typically you do so without ever thinking you will virtually undo all of it. The endless coordination of vendors and schedules, guests and wedding party — there is an emotional investment in each of these phone calls, emails and appointments. They all become a part of this process leading to a day when you will pledge your life and love to another person. However, when the wedding is called off just weeks before the big day, and everything comes to a halt, you are left with...what exactly? I was not sure. It was a painful decision to make, but somehow I knew it was the right one for myself and my son.Read More
Just over a year ago, I finished a senior undergraduate honors thesis about self-care as an anti-capitalist act. As part of my thesis, I created and released a zine version of my outlined arguments, written in first person, with stories of my own experiences with depression as an activist. Ever since then, friends and acquaintances have looked to me as some sort of self-care expert, as though I must have it all figured out—after all, I spent a year spending about 50% of my waking hours thinking about self-care, didn’t I? Unfortunately, one of the (ironic) results of releasing this zine was that I now have difficulty being as honest about my mental health as I was before.Read More
Hi there, I'm Jaime and I'm fat! Pleased to meet you!
I'm sure if we met in person that's kind of how our first exchange would happen, only I wouldn’t have to verbalize my size. The space I take up is likely one of the first three things you’d notice about me. You'd notice my skin tone, my height—probably my winning smile—but first and foremost you’d notice my fatness.Read More
I think part of the reason I struggle with having a wedding is that I am new to it. I have identified as a queer, white woman for years. I have had years to grapple with heteropatriarchal systems and my position as a financially privileged white person, even before I had a critical vocabulary to discuss them. But I am only newly a bride-to-be and only newly have to confront the related assumptions that are made about me.Read More